Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Healing sometimes seems difficult and, looks like an unending phase but, with every process, comes our wounds getting unstrapped and, along with it, a life lesson that, we hold on to dearly.

It’s inevitable in life that we don’t get stuck, hurt or feel out of place with deep burdens to carry; it’s  an ideal thing we have to keep in mind cause’ life is all about learning.

And, learning never stops; life is about learning, relearning and, unlearning. it’s all about learning to build yourself up, look happy even when things seem blurry. it’s about hoping things would change even when, a voice in our head disagrees.

It’s about resisting the wrong emotions that might try to wear us down and, pulling ourselves back stronger. whispering to ourselves ‘I can do this. I can come back stronger’. It’s about finding ourselves and, finding joy in every version of you.

Tracking back two months ago, I felt myself drawn back to nothing I was before and, I felt lost every moment. I felt really distanced from my true self.

I could barely recognise who I was; I felt I needed direction but, nothing came; no help, and no one to talk with. Slowly, I slipped into depression and, I became void of any emotions. All these, cause’ of one person.

I was weak cause’ I felt all my emotions have been projected to someone who wasn’t worth it and, it was being manipulated all to better their own advantage. I felt lost. I was scared I was losing it all together; I couldn’t grasp what wrong I had done to deserve that.

I became a teary person every night as their memory creeps into my head; all I could think of was them every night; my brain felt I was in the wrong direction but, my heart kept getting drawn to that person.

Everyday, I trained myself to resist their touch, their images, every connection I had with them – it was hard as my heart would yearn for them; I had deeply being used as an emotional source for someone else’s feed. Living was a thorn.

But, deep down, with every passing day, I knew I would be healed and thus, healing came; this time, refreshing and worth holding on. I could do without thinking about that person. I was able to resist texting them. Life felt brand new again. 

I felt anew. I felt brought back into light; I realised, sometimes, you need to fall in love yourself more than anything else. I realised I was down due to people-pleasing.

I knew that I was brought back into being a changed person; I learned, relearned and, unlearned that you shouldn’t give your heart to people who don’t care about it.

All these healing phases were all life teaching me; reciprocate love back to who showed you love. Don’t water yourself down or esteem to please someone.

~ Ace_xx