Was today typical?

It’s almost inevitable that an event would happen in one’s day; it’s a natural occurrence that something happens, whether bad or good, or neutral – it’s only what could specify our days as humans in our lifetime.

Unbelievably would anyone tell you that they never did something, nor had anything that excited them or made them feel bad about it cause’ life is a phase where we learn everyday.

Today was so different from any other day in this month, week & year. It’s been a healing phase for me as I embark on some exploring more about myself and, whatever had mould me.

Today aside any other day was Typical. I felt a little upliftment from the emptiness I had feeling these past few days. I feel better knowing that, I can find peace within solitude and within myself.

Earlier this morning, at midnight, I had read some postcards on Substack that felt like they were sent by the universe to teach me about life and, really resonated with what I had been trying to heal from.

It felt unreal. I felt as though the writer was reading my mind,searching deep in me how I felt and what I’ve been passing through – It was honestly a good read cause’ I felt relieved not by just hearing the truth from people but, experiencing it and seeing that those who warned me weren’t wrong.

I’ve been totally drained and used as an emotional resource by someone whom I truly love and, it felt yeah, I wasn’t gonna heal from that thread of emotional entanglement and, manipulations.

Cause’ it hits differently when you’re deep into an emotional connection with someone and they make you feel unworthy and start questioning your worth.

I learnt that ‘Desire’ and ‘Yearn’ are distinct terms and shouldn’t be perceived quite the same. Desire is when your heart wants someone or something but, it could quench at a particular time.

Yearn on the flip side is having a stronger will, craving for someone or something and not feeling restrained until your emotions get fed – It’s a continual feeling, more intense and, always hard to get over with.

Overly, I think my yearning surpassed my desire over someone who barely never looked back nor cared, but used me as an emotional supply to continue feeding her emotional self, giving me breadcrumbs.

I find it overly strange why humans act in some way without feeling some sense of remorse – It’s not even vague now, it’s so clear. Overall, i’ve gotten healed, and realize not everyone is worth your energy.

Today wasn’t just finding myself, though still in action – Today, I arrived home after months of being absent and, honestly it felt so warming and, heartfelt.

It felt like I never left and truly needed to be back. It felt serene just like the trip, peaceful and, void of thoughts that kept me caged and self-doubting myself.

Home is where the heart lies. ❤️

Ace_xx